For thousands of years, humans have pondered the greatest unanswered question of our time: are we alone in the universe? Is there intelligent life out there and if so, will we ever find it or will they find us? With the exception of the occasional tabloid story of alien abduction and the mystery surrounding Area 51, there is no hard evidence that earth has ever played host to life from another planet.

All I can say is, if alien life ever finds its way here, I hope they land in the South. Why?:

• Weary travelers have always been greeted with warmth and hospitality in the South. Set some aliens on a front porch with some sweet tea and in less than two hours any Southern lady will know their entire life story.

• Whatever subject interests our inter-galactic visitors, we can help. Southerners have opinions on everything and an innate gift for conversation.

• If they experienced mechanical trouble with their ship, I'm certain that some good ole boy could get under the hood and not only get it running again but actually make it go faster.

• Up to now we have assumed that our space travelers are friendly. In the event that they harbor hostile intentions, the best way to turn someone from grumpy to genial is with food. On this subject, Southern culture is second to no one!

If intelligent life visits our planet and experiences the true South, they are sure to go home happy. Who knows, many years from now when we master space travel we may find civilizations across the universe eating deep fried pickles and putting slaw on their sandwiches. That would be just fine with me.


6 Walnut Avenue • Vinton, Virginia 24179

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